I think if I moved here or was here for long stretches of time I would have extreme Hermitism. Is Hermitism a word? Yes, and here I thought I had made a new one! I guess it is the act of being a Hermit? I digress.
The constant work of understanding people seems to be a majority of my stress, topped off right now ny utter exhaustion. I find that even though I am so tired I would rather be walking about Bercy, were I only have to greet people, rather than try to have a conversation. Or feel like people are talking about me right in front of my face. Edens has assured my repeatedly that they are not saying anything bad about me, that they are talking about how happy they are to see me and some of the things I have been doing. As a child that was teased in school. and was not in the “clicks”, any one talking about me either behind my back, in whisper, or in this case a language I don’t fully comprehend, really bothers me. As usual “my” house has become the place were everyone is sitting.
November will be different in this way, I hope! My property is not close to other homes. It would take 5 minutes to walk from my tent to my friend Joseph’s house. I am hoping this distance will leave me more room to breath. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with people who I can’t think on problems that I have been asked to solve. Some times I just want: quite, no children touching me, and space to call my own. I have a feeling these are very American needs. But, maybe it is just me. It’s not that I don’t care for the people who are wanting time with me, I guess it is kind of like Christmas gatherings. It is great to see everyone, but then you need to walk away and digest.